Pink Pineapple: Benny Blanco's Latest Marketing Stunt. (Pineapple Mania!)

Pink Pineapples: Peak Absurdity or Just Another Instagram Trap? Okay, lemme get this straight. We're freaking out over *pink* pineapples now? Seriously? It smells and looks like a normal pineapple, but inside it’s pink—that's the big selling point? Give me a break.

Pink Pineapples: Nature's Mistake or Marketing Genius?

The Lycopene Lie It's all about lycopene, apparently. The same stuff that makes tomatoes red. In normal pineapples, it gets turned into beta-carotene, which is yellow. But these pink monstrosities? Scientists tweaked the DNA to keep the lycopene, making them pink. They "turned off the enzyme," as if that makes it sound less Frankenstein-y. Is this progress? Or just another way to squeeze cash out of bored consumers? And the farms! "Select tropical farms, under carefully controlled conditions." Translation: expensive greenhouses and even more expensive scientists playing God with our food. It takes two years to grow one of these things. Two years! I can barely keep a houseplant alive for two months.

$50 Pineapples? Now They're Just Mocking Us.

The Price of Pink $25 to $50 *per pineapple*? Are they insane? They ship 'em without the crown to keep you from replanting them, which is next-level corporate greed. It's not enough to charge a fortune; they gotta make sure you can't even try to grow your own damn pink pineapple. I'm starting to think the "elite packaging" is just a fancy way to hide the fact that you're getting ripped off. They’re marketed as a "luxury fruit." Luxury fruit? What happened to just enjoying a damn pineapple? And the health benefits? Vitamin C, antioxidants, aids digestion... It's the same crap they say about every other fruit. Only this one costs ten times as much and looks like it was designed by a toddler with a box of crayons.

Pink Pineapples: The End of Civilization as We Know It?

The Influencer Infection Of course, the pink pineapple is a "social media sensation." Because what else would it be? Influencers and food bloggers are all over it, posting their perfectly filtered photos of this pastel abomination. From celebrity shoutouts to TikTok taste tests, this fruit has quickly become a pop culture favorite. What a surprise. It's not about the taste; it's about the likes. It's about the 'gram. It's about the fleeting validation of strangers on the internet. The Pink Pineapple: Nature’s Sweetest Trend Taking Over the Internet — and Benny Blanco Approves. I saw one influencer call it "photogenic." Photogenic fruit. Has the world gone completely mad? Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe I'm just a bitter old man yelling at a pink pineapple-shaped cloud. But I can't shake the feeling that this is all just a giant, sugary-sweet scam. They want us to believe that this is some kind of revolutionary fruit, but lets be real... So, What's the Real Story? It's a pink pineapple. Big deal. It's overpriced, overhyped, and probably tastes like every other pineapple on the market. It's a perfect example of how far we've fallen as a society, chasing fleeting trends and paying ridiculous prices for things that offer absolutely no real value. Give me a regular pineapple any day.